Diet jokes
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
How do people eat bread?
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
Rabbit poop is cereal.
Bean.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.