They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
