Death jokes

Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.

Patient: What's the good news?

Doctor: I've got you flowers.

Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?

Doctor: They're for your grave.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"

"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"