Death jokes
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!