Death jokes
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
This joke is so dark, I need life.
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.