Death jokes

Where do suicide bombers go after death?

Everywhere.

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.

Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.

Patient: What's the good news?

Doctor: I've got you flowers.

Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?

Doctor: They're for your grave.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?

Drowning Pool - Bodies.

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Tried committing suicide last night...

Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.