Good News, Bad News

The doctor initially presents the news in a way that suggests something positive is coming. He gives the good news which is 'I've got you flowers'. The patient responds positively, but the punchline reveals a dark twist, the flowers are for their grave, which they will need since they are going to die.

• Grave
• News
• Doctor
• Death
• Hospital
• Flower

• A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left." The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
• A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says, "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?" The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
• Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news." So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
• The patient said, "When will this be over?" The doctor said, "After you die." The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?" The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure." The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"