Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
Death Jokes
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
