Grave

Grave Jokes

Man

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.

  • 6
  • News

    Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.

    Patient: What's the good news?

    Doctor: I've got you flowers.

    Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?

    Doctor: They're for your grave.

    Depression

    Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ‘

    Memes

    Grandma

    Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.

    Mom: Shut up and keep digging.

  • 9
  • Day

    I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

    Dirt

    [being buried alive]

    Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?

    Funeral

    So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

  • 0
  • Doctor

    So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

    Religion

    Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

    Yeah, they're pretty holey.

    Cemetery

    I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

    Dad

    I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

    People

    Most people call it grave robbing...

    I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.

    Bone

    Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.