Dark Humor

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

you.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

"To the morgue."

"What? But I’m not dead yet!"

"And we’re not there yet."

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night? Museum girl: Committing suicide. Allan: What about Friday night?

Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.

Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

What's another name for 9/11?

A forbidden game of Jenga.

When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeves in a house fire.

I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.