Vlad the Impaler jokes

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.