What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Dick.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?
Hang 'em high.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
