Dark Humor
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.