Dark Humor
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.