Dark Humor

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

Dead baby jokes never get old...

How do you get a million fans?

Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.

Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.

Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.

Dick.

Why is the UK bad at chess?

Because they have no queen.

What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?

Women can't take a joke!