What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
What's another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?