Dark Humor
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
I am dark humor.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.