What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
