Dark Humor
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.