Paramedic jokes

What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?

With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.

Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.

If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?

Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.

I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.

That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!