“What do we want?”

“HEARING AIDS!”

“When do we want them?”

“HEARING AIDS!”

Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?

Johnny was deaf.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

When deaf people people see someone yawning do they think their screaming

I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.

What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?

cancer

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer

what does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don’t know its not like they’re gonna hear it anyway.

What do you call a deaf animal? Anything, it can’t hear you.

what do you call a ear thats dead deaf hahaha oh wait…

how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.

Deaf peoples shux lots dix. They cant haer!

Hellen Keller once said, ¨love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel¨ but of course she said it like this ¨fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb¨

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won’t be able to hear!

You can say what you want about deaf people …

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