Crime jokes
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Repost from my friends account
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.