Crime jokes
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
Memes
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Miksi Michael lähti limusiinistä ulos?
Hän näki alastoman pojan.