Crime jokes

What did one orphan say to another orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

Miksi Michael lähti limusiinistä ulos?

Hän näki alastoman pojan.

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."

What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?

One is wanted.

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

Why don’t pedophiles win races?

They like to come in a little behind.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner is wanted!