Crime jokes
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Memes
Off brand Hollow Knight
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.