I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Crime Jokes
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
