Crime jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Memes
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?