Crime jokes

Why do school shooters have the best shots?

They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

A: Knock knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.

B: Package from Te-?

A: BOOM!

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

So they could finally call someone "daddy."

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What did the priest say during the christening?

"So anyway, I started blasting!"

I am the danger.

I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.

Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"

I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.

Nobody still wanted them.

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?

A: When they are falling from their balcony.

What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?

C4.

What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.