Come

Come jokes

Food

    • My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

    The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

    Twin

    • There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.

    A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."

    Food

    • Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

    Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

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    • Child

    • Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

    A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

    Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

    Child: Both.

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    • Come memes

    Difference

    • What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

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    • Series

    • I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

    Victim

    • Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

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    • Girlfriend

    • I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

    Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

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    • Difference

    • What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

    Girlfriend

    • Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

    Get the whip, you're out!

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    • Sex addict

    • How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

    The psychologist will thank you for coming.

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    • Woman

    • Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

    The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

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    • Impairment

    • This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

    If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

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    • Orphan

    • Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

    Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

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    • Priest

    • A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

    The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

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    • Law

    • The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.

    Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.

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