And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster
And the lord said unto John “come forth and you will receive eternal life” but John came fifth and won a toaster
And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and won a toaster
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ. "My headphones are broken, Lord… I’m desperate… What should I do? Guide me!!" And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man’s soul. WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS And so he did.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked : " Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work ? "