Come jokes

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

Why is Santa's sack always full?

Because he only comes once a year.

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........

Why are most vacuums gay?

They’re always coming out of the closet.