Come jokes

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

There's a blind hooker in town.

She never sees anyone coming.

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........

Why is Santa's sack always full?

Because he only comes once a year.

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?

Why are most vacuums gay?

They’re always coming out of the closet.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.