Come jokes

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

There's a blind hooker in town.

She never sees anyone coming.

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

Why is Santa's sack always full?

Because he only comes once a year.

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?

How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."