Return jokes
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Come back, old members!
I'm back.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.