Oven jokes
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?
THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough from his beats.
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!