Come jokes
A song about yellow and blue beans.
Engines shut off when accelerating, Babu is wearing a hat and gloves. Rain is like honey. Bob remembered the sentence as best he could. Latex Master has reached the ninth level. These are weapons of atheism in the narrow sense.
Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Little Roach, look, Bob, of course!
Glory comes and loss is great. Three types of copper filling. The stairs are covered with lego pieces, Take a closer look at the snowman, a type of flowering plant. There is no science that saves time from fog. "The war against slavery!" - The Complete Guide to Bob Fuller.
Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Hang a laminate. Bob, that's right!
My sister asked me, "Brother, how do babies come into the world?" Then my mom said, "Be quiet and fuck your brother, darling."
Is that the answer?
The president of a company comes in to talk to his employees. He says, "As you know, sales have been way down and many of you are not meeting your quotas. We decided to SHAKE things up a bit and introduce you to our new Vice President: Michael J. Fox."
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣
I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.
The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.
The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."
The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
What did one terrorist say to their kid?
“Here comes the airplane!” “Here comes the other one!”
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.
3, 4, better lock your door.
5, 6, grab a crucifix.
7, 8, stay up late.
9, 10, never sleep again.
I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
"Tyler teller, come to daddy!"
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Teacher: What is your name? Me: Written in the stars.
Teacher: Where? Me: A million miles away.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Me: A message to the main.
Teacher: You must change your behavior! Me: Seasons come and go, but I will never change.
Teacher: Go to the school principal NOW! Me: And I'm on my way.
I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.