Come jokes
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
(The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Everyone is gathered for an emergency meeting.)
CHARLIE: Okay, everyone, listen up! There's a new group of souls coming in who passed away in a school shooting! We have to be sensitive!
VAGGIE: (Scoffs) Good luck with that.
ANGEL: (Waving a hand nonchalantly) No problem, Charlie! I’m great with kids who have issues. My advice to them would be, “Don't be in school.”
(A beat of stunned silence falls over the room. Everyone just stares at him.)
ANGEL: (He blinks, looking genuinely confused at the silence.) Wait.
(Alastor lets out a loud, static-filled laugh.)
HUSK: (Deadpan, taking a huge drink) Too soon, Angel. Too soon.
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"