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Woman

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Michael Jackson

What is one dream that Michael Joseph Jackson made come to life? He loved to say: "Somebody's watching me."

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.