Come jokes

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

"And here comes the second one!"

What did an Arab say to feed his kid?

'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?

"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"