Come jokes
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Captain of the Titanic: “Where’s all that f***ing water coming from?”
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.