What does a house wear? a-dress
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!!
i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it...
what is another name for a serial rapist? short dress enthusiast
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners
The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Love that dress, it would look much better on my floor though.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
Dad: Come on David go dress up like a girl
David: Isn't that illegal
Dad: Na it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in
David: I hate my Life
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"
emos are weird to me because they dress up all black and you know i dont like that so thats why i dont like it
Why was the chef embarrassed. He saw the salad dressing.
Why do brides wear white?
So the match the kitchen appliances
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at holloween
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: *gasps* whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off... Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn't exciting, make something up!
