Orphan

Anonymous

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags I asked if he was an orphan he said “Yeah what gave me away” I said his parents

Salad

Anonymous

Why did the tomato blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing.

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Blood

Anonymous

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie … no one could tell that it was their blood

0

Nun

Macaroni

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

“Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.”

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

“Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

“Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!”

“Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

Difference

Punzar

What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

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High

Daddy Jack

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son

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High

Hotel Hideaway

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

High

Addison

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

Priest

Anonymous

How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

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Puns

Anonymous

What does a house wear? a-dress

Salad

Anonymous

Why was the chef embarrassed. He saw the salad dressing.

Yo mama

Anonymous

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at holloween

Nun

Mail man tom

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.

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Puns

prick

i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

4

Nut

Troy Adams

A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

4

Offensive

Apache attack helicopter

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Woman

XxbillyxscrannerxX

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

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Son

Joker

Joker gives batman a phone thomas:uhh son we need to talk… about the uhh dressing up. martha:hello dearie brucie is it ok if you visit me when you go to jokers house

Day

Cesium

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved…and shot her.

Wish

Anonymous

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.