One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
What does a house wear? a-dress
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
Why was the chef embarrassed. He saw the salad dressing.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at holloween
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!!
i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it...
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.