Sperm Jokes


How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.


Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.


What’s so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her. There both thinking “oh shit my mum is gonna kill me”!


An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood.” “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $30.” “Wow,” says the man, “I’m going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100.” The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. “Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?” “Sperm bank,” she mumbles with her mouth full.


Hi welcome to David’s sperm bank you Jack it we pack it how may I help you?


How do you know if you have a high sperm count?? She chews before she swallows

in Heterosexual

How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick? when there is blood coming out of dick instead of sperm


Q:what type of mother gives there daughter sperm. A:a furry mother

in Heterosexual

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer? there is sperm on the screen


what did Sophie Brussaux’s baby get every week? a face full of sperm


WOULD YOU RATHER: Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t? or Drink a gallon of sperm?

in Orphan

What do Orphans and sperm donor kids have in Calmin They don’t have dads

Allan C.

Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!


why did the sperm cross the road?

because he put the wrong sock was put on



All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick’s the hardest part of the body She looked like she’s having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” in her bumhole

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she’s in love with bumming Didn’t make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what’s wrong with eating the asshole? You’ll never know if you don’t try You’ll never taste if you don’t lick

Hey now, you’re a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you’re a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

It’s a gay place and they say it gets gayer You’re licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless mans throat

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on cocaine, how about yours? That’s the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you’re a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you’re a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

Great Britan

Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank? A: He got caught drinking on the job.


What starts with s and ends with erm? SuperM. This means both matrix and master so take out the u and then you just get master. When you think of sperm you think of porn. If your a master at something your also a star at it. So you get porn star.

in Adult

Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has giving him a brojob? because of the cream filling inside just like the individually wrapped cakes of hostess twinkies


What do sperm say while just in

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