Sperm jokes
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
type shizz
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.