Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
What kind of jeans do you were to church? - Holy jeans
Yo mama's so fat she irons her clothes on the driveway
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
