children's jokes

What do you call a group of children who go on strike?

A minor's strike.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

Went to school today, had to yell at my friend that he wasn't on the clock.

He continued to swing on the pole in front of children.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

How many children does Explain Bear have?

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

Where do Eagles send their children to study?

The Alpha birds.

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

I put the D in Children.

What's long, yellow, and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.