Shooting

Kira akuma

Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes gasp how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that… and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.

Day

Hunta

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there. Where are the others?

They’re in his freezer.

Bear

Anonymous

two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts

Bad

yeetus

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool

Friend

USSR Soldier

Me and my friend were duck hunting. He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled “DUCK!” then “MOTHERDUCKER!”. Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

Wood

Anonymous

2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: “911 what’s your emergency?” Hunter no. 1: “The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep.” Operator: “Check if he’s / she’s (not assuming genders) dead.” Operator hears a distant gunshot Hunter no. 1: “What do I do next?”

Open

Hooty

Why is there no open hunting season on hippies ???

Have you ever tried to clean one ?

School

Anonymous

Where do pedophiles go hunting … Elementary schools

White

Greggo

What’s white, black, and red all over?

A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.

America

Anonymous

Why would be hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea? Because it’s ill-eagle

Fire

Anonymous

Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond?” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”

Gun

USSR Soldier

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said “your crazy!”, I responded “quackers”

Puns

Eagle

Eagle:'You know why hunting me would be a bad idea? Because it is ILL-EAGLE!

Deer

Anonymous

When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.

Puns

Anonymous

I used have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting. I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

Poor

irony house

why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

Wife

Zech Carter

A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife .After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room .There they were having a grand ole until the Rancher’s wife walks in .The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there”,The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke)You’ve never been so right in your life ,honey why don’t show our guest your tits”,.She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast.After he gets a good gander he says “Nice”,then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon”,.She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny ,and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his .Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!”,and the Rancher replied “Now…Lemme tell you…There ain’t a thing like it”.

Die

Anonymous

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”

Wife

Zech Carter

I guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch .After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room .There they were having a grand ole time then the Ranchers wife walks in .The Hunter says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there”,The Rancher replied “(harsh raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds)You’ve never been so right in your life ,honey why don’t show our guest your tits”,.She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast.The Hunter says “Nice”,then Rancher said show em yer peker now.She agreed and whipped out a 13 in Johny .Dazed and confused the Hunter says “What in Sam Hill is that!!”,and the Rancher replied “Now…Lemme tell you…There ain’t a thing like it”.

Bad

Anonymous

You I didn’t see you there the pizza place is hunted bad so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁 The end or is it bye-bye

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