The 30+ Best Scissors Jokes

I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

a cop pulled me over and shouted papers. i shouted scissors and drove off.

whats flat and great for cutting? me

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

Rock paper lesbians.

You know those paper families you cut out? Well I put one of those in an orphanage.

Whats the diffrence between me and a hairdresser. We both cut too much

why are emos like paper

they cut easily

How do u cut ur grass without a lawn mower?

U dye it blue and it will cut itself

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend enyaw . I cba with jokes basically me and enyaw always scissor

I got in trouble at school today bc I played the knife game with a pair of scissors but I couldn't flip them off bc I was missing that finger.

I Bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper

paper.

aww c'mon! i thought my joke made the Cut!

Cut

paper

What do lesbians love to use in art class? Scissors.

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck. I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose. Hey give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded! Oh no not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys I just lost my finger a day ago this is Tony later on

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps.on a cockroach. They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.