I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.
Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."
a cop pulled me over and shouted papers. i shouted scissors and drove off.
whats flat and great for cutting? me
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Rock paper lesbians.
You know those paper families you cut out? Well I put one of those in an orphanage.
Whats the diffrence between me and a hairdresser. We both cut too much
why are emos like paper
they cut easily
I Bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper
I got in trouble at school today bc I played the knife game with a pair of scissors but I couldn't flip them off bc I was missing that finger.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend enyaw . I cba with jokes basically me and enyaw always scissor
How do u cut ur grass without a lawn mower?
U dye it blue and it will cut itself
edward scissor hands: why is it that every time i touch someone they get ofended? kids: cause your a physco path
paper.
aww c'mon! i thought my joke made the Cut!
Cut
paper
What’s worse than running with scissors? Scissoring With the runs
