Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Mr. Menace
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”