children's jokes
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.