children's jokes
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
aiyyaaaaaaa
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)