Children jokes

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.

Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.

When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."

So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.

Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.