Children jokes
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.