Children

Children jokes

Bullet

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!

Kid

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

Orphan

What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?

An orphan.

Dog

A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.

Priest

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

Orphan

Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

Good luck, Jake.

Shit

This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

Reaction

1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?

2) Where did all the orphans go?

PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!

Son

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

Kid

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(πŸ˜”πŸ˜žπŸ˜”πŸ₯Ί. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

Hairline

Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.