Children jokes
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"