Children jokes

Why do Asians abandon their children?

They're bad at math.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.

How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?

As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

How do Chinese people name their children?

They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

What has 30 legs but can't swim?

A bus full of children!

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?

Why did Sophia cross the road?

To eat her nuggies!

Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!

Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!

Orphan jokes? They protest.

A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?

An orphan.

Who make hard candy for the kids?

Solve.