Growth jokes

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.

When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

He said, "Six foot four."

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

What did the math acorn say when it grew up?

"Gee-I'm-a-tree."

Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?

'Cause they are just boys.

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways; What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."