Can jokes
What do you call roller skates you can walk in?
"Wock n' roll."
Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
can someone please tell what happened?
Memes
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.