Can jokes
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.
Memes
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"