Can jokes

Can February march?

No, but April may.

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

Can you see me?

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

My father can take a joke because he made one.

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.

What do you call roller skates you can walk in?

"Wock n' roll."

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because all they can do is mandate.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

can someone please tell what happened?

Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Why do you need an AR-15?

So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.

I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

It's called "The Bad Batch File!"

Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

What's the difference between me and Spongebob?

Spongebob can actually get ripped.