Can jokes

Nostalgia hits you like a train.

It's so hard, you can even wake up.

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴

What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Why do you like cream instead of bugs?

Because bugs can kill you.

What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.