Why doesn't the Sun go to college? -- Because it has a million degrees.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Why did the slave go to college? To get his master's degree.
Why didn't the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!
Why didn't the bear go to college? -- Because bears don't go to college.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college? Bring 'em Young.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate? "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college? Bring them young
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"
What did the bull say when he went to college? Bison 😂😂😂😂
why did the sun not go to college because it already have a million degrees!
why cant a orphan go to college? He needs a
Parent signature________
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo? -- Too many cheetahs!
I laugh when I realized that my suicide letter is way more longer than my sibling's college essay.
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
Hi I love you 06/02/2020 3:19 PM Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdfDear Grad Parents,Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.There will be more information to follow in the coming days.Thank you.
(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)
Seeing so many balding College students is so sad.... Like why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you ?!?!
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
