Can jokes

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?

One can feed a family.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.

El, can you grab me that bow?

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

You pecan do it!