Can jokes
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.