Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Can February March? -- No, but April May.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost may.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar
Because he Lost May!!
Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, The second May, The third June. Who was the first child
Sally
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
May
What is the shortest month of the year? May it only has 3 letters!
me: what's the fifth month of the year Friend: May me: may deez nuts fit in your mouth
May and its gang
Q: a mom had 5 children - January, febuary, march, april what is the name of the fifth child? A: What.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion? A. May your baby rest in pieces.
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
Hi, Welcome to Dave's Orphanage you make them we take them how may I help you?
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar could do it so much quicker
