Delivery jokes
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."