SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.
Can Jokes
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
