Can jokes
Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
was uppppp
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.