Can jokes

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Why can lesbians not drive cars?

They always strap the wrong thing on.

What do you call a booty that can sing?

A crack-up!

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

The legs are soft and delicious.

How much can you earn in Selkan Toko Na Sinsel? Njpopularnijssa bronia jost. My grandma was already eto nasaba of the other sachan without me. Then you will be satisfied.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

So they can climb a fence easier.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.