Can jokes

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.

What do you call a booty that can sing?

A crack-up!

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Why can lesbians not drive cars?

They always strap the wrong thing on.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

So they can climb a fence easier.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?

Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.