Can jokes
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Quite true
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!