Can jokes

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

So they can climb a fence easier.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.

A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"

What do you call a booty that can sing?

A crack-up!

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Why can lesbians not drive cars?

They always strap the wrong thing on.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.