Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Can Jokes
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
