What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over? Pigs in a blanket.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window? He was airing his blanket.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
How to get a girl in three steps: Step 1: grab a pillow Step 2: grab a blanket Step 3: keep dreaming
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!!
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
why cant orphans sleep nobody can tuck them in
Why did Michael Joseph Jackson dangle the baby over the balcony? He wanted to air out the blanket.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony? He wanted to clean out the blanket
What does Michael jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket
Bf:Hey what ya doing?
Gf:just lying in bed
Bf:just lying in bed?
Gf:and eating cereal
Bf:Ha nice,what would you do if i was in bed next to you...?
Gf:eat my cereal
Bf:i mean if the cereal wasnt there
Gf:id get out of bed and get more cereal
What is the difference in between a orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used
I might not be able to make my bed but at least I can get out of it.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
( Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why a made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying ) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
How do you make antifreeze You steal her blanket
The last 2 words you say after sex before going to sleep ?
Goodnight Mom !
I don't understand why people hide under there blankets it's not like the killers gonna be like, I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket
Yo momma so fat her 4 kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.