Blanket Jokes

Bf:Hey what ya doing?

Gf:just lying in bed

Bf:just lying in bed?

Gf:and eating cereal

Bf:Ha nice,what would you do if i was in bed next to you...?

Gf:eat my cereal

Bf:i mean if the cereal wasnt there

Gf:id get out of bed and get more cereal

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone

So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

I don't understand why people hide under there blankets it's not like the killers gonna be like, I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."


An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".


Your mama so fat when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the pactfic ocean