Can jokes

Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up, feminists, please.

What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?

A Sandy Hook.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!

A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

Genie: Poof!

Tom: It didn't work.

What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"