I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
retired grocer
Ya gotta hand it to short people. . .
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone’s throw away, in fact.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” I tried it and it doesn’t.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says "I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
My friend David lost his ID. Now he is just Dav.