Can jokes
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Memes
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.