Can jokes
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
was uppppp
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
I can smell your kids!
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.