Can jokes
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Memes
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
"Hey Kenya, can we talk please!"
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (β-β)(β-β)(β-β)(β-β)(β-β)(β-β)
β Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
β Librarian: No, because you wonβt bring it back.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Words canβt describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.