Can jokes
Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?
Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?
P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
As a Samoan i caann confirm that were only have a couple sides of us mad funny angry and dedicated
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Can you fuck me, please?
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.
A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.